1.) Wait….you woke up 8 years ago on a beach in New Jersey with no memory of who you are, Samantha, and you were pregnant? Sounds like a typical night in New Jersey to me.
2.) Samantha has pretty nice house, and she's got a job as a teacher. With no memory of who she was eight years ago. How do you get a teaching job with no proof of education, let alone who you really are?
3.) Amnesiac school teachers don't believe in seat belts.
4.) Prisoners in State correctional facilities have their own personal TVs? (I've never been to prison, maybe they do. Soldiers living in the barracks don't get free TV. There's your tax dollars at work, folks)
5.) What the heck was One Eyed Jack's shotgun loaded with? He fires and misses Samantha but blows a big giant hole in the wall of the house. Either the house is made of paper mache' or he's using grenades as ammo.
6.) Damn. She killed a dude with a pie!
7.) Mitch shows up right after Samantha/Charly pie-murders One Eyed Jack, and tries to help. The cops show up right behind him and instantly pull their guns on him. Geez, can't a brother get a break?
8.) Timothy and a gaggle of assassins ambush Mitch and Samantha/Charly at the train station where they are waiting to meet Dr. Waldman. In doing so they just plain open fire with automatic weapons, and hey its an action movie….they hit practically every innocent bystander but miss their targets. That's not even the reason I'd do a shot for this bit. Really? A bunch or trained assassins and that's the best way they can think of for getting rid of Samantha/Charly? They could have just shot her in the parking lot, or waited until she was in a less crowded area. Nope. These knuckleheads have to throw enough lead downrange to kill a platoon.
9.)Timothy and a gaggle of assassins ambush Mitch and Samantha/Charly at the train station where they are waiting to meet Dr. Waldman. In doing so they just plain open fire with automatic weapons, and hey its an action movie….they hit practically every innocent bystander but miss their targets. That's not even the reason I'd do a shot for this bit. Really? A bunch or trained assassins and that's the best way they can think of for getting rid of Samantha/Charly? They could have just shot her in the parking lot, or waited until she was in a less crowded area. Nope. These knuckleheads have to throw enough lead downrange to kill a platoon.
10.) When Samantha goes into full Charly mode she complains about what her fake identity of Samantha did to her ass. I think she even tells Mitch something along the lines of her ass is large now. Later in the movie we see Charlie in skin tight pants and a tank top. I was like “What ass?”. Hey, I’m not Sir Mix-a-Lot, I’m not really into huge asses, and Geena Davis is a pretty lady. I’m just sayin’ the ass ain’t all that impressive.
11.) DAMMIT! Ok, I'm willing to suspend disbelief in a lot of stuff. But when Timothy is about to shoot Mitch in the head, but is stopped by an explosion in the basement caused by Charly, Mitch goes flying out of a window like an old Warner Bros. cartoon. He even crashes through a sign and into a tree. If that didn't kill him or at the very least break 90% of his bones this guy is friggin' indestructible.
HANGOVER MOMENTS
♦ In this movie people can crash into things in a moving vehicle get thrown about a hundred feet and never get that hurt.
FAMILIAR TROPES
Samuel L. Jackson is a trope unto himself.
When the goons throw a grenade at Mitch and Samantha/Charly it explodes in a HUGE fireball. This movie being made in the 90s of course has that scene where they run in slow motion from the giant wall of flame chasing them. I guess they got that grenade from the same place One Eyed Jack buys his ammo. Seriously, what kind of grenade was that? One filled with 20 sticks of dynamite?
THE BAR TAB
The Long Kiss Goodnight isn't a great movie, but its not bad either. Out of the two Geena Davis action movies I've ever seen this was the better of them. (Cut throat Island was the other). It's worth at least three beers but I'll give it four. The extra beer is because she killed a guy with a pie. That was pretty cool.
